My rollercoaster journey with cancer: Ruth’s Story

Volunteering

It was the friendly staff, cleanliness and relaxed atmosphere that first made me decide to get involved with Cancer Research Wales. When the manager suggested I should volunteer, I jumped at the chance, especially as my brother-in-law had once told me I’m a natural salesperson.

What makes my story really amazing is that I actually discovered my cancer whilst volunteering in the shop. I was trying on a yoga top and noticed an abnormality in my nipple. The abnormality was caused by a mass deep within the breast. When people say ‘the bottom dropped out of my world’, they mean it! I feared the worst and was absolutely right!

Cancer

In a flash and without hesitation I saw my doctor and then a consultant. Following an examination, my fears were confirmed. A biopsy showed that the news was worse than first thought. The cancer was HER2-positive and at Stage 3. I would need six rounds of FEC-T chemotherapy followed by a mastectomy. 

I was told I would definitely lose my hair and that was the most painful news I had received. Chemotherapy began in August, Herceptin continued every three weeks for 18 injections. Finally, I had a course of six Zometa. That was the worst part of my treatment. It was then all behind me and very successful.

Support

My loved ones and friends were an invaluable source of strength throughout my treatment. My friends call ourselves the Four Musketeers - Sue, Alison, Annie and me. Treatment days in Velindre were long and tiring. The three friends formed a rota and they were all with me at some point during every chemotherapy session in Velindre. True friendship knows no barriers.

At home, my partner Phil was my ‘Constant’. He encouraged and supported me every step of the way, which I now appreciate was a real strain on him. While you’re struggling through the treatment and its inevitable side effects, one tends to forget that others are hugely affected and are often suffering in silence.

Breaking the news

Another person suffering this trauma was my son - Aled, who lives in London. I had to phone him to break the news of my cancer and that was the most difficult and dreaded phone call I’ve ever made.

Initially Aled was absolutely devastated, but true to form he turned a negative into a positive. He formed the Cae Mawr Crew WhatsApp group – named after our road, for the three of us, where we could share our feelings, fears and of course our successes. Phil and Aled were my 'Rocks'.

A surreal experience

I asked Phil about his feelings about supporting me through my cancer journey. He told me it was a surreal experience to have your supposedly fit and healthy partner diagnosed with Stage 3 cancer. He said it was almost as though he had been sitting on a cloud looking in on something unreal. But it's actually happening to the person you're closest to and you can't make it right because it's totally out of your control.

Phil added that it was hard to know what to say to your partner when she's just been diagnosed with Stage 3 cancer. It was so very tough for him. The treatment was horrendous but we battled through and here we are smiling once more.

Life is precious

Having cancer has affected me greatly. It's an experience you cannot forget, but one you learn from. It's certainly made me more grateful and made me value life from a different perspective. Life is so very, very precious and luckily I have been able to support several other people going through the same experience. 

Through volunteering with Cancer Research Wales I have met fellow sufferers. We share stories, we sympathise, we identify, we laugh and we understand and hug each other.

Research is crucial

Cancer Research Wales is invaluable. Research is essential. We need better treatments, we need more cures. Research into cancer and its causes as it becomes more prevalent is crucial. By volunteering, I feel I'm repaying a little. I'm showing gratitude for this wonderful charity who have achieved so much and with our support will continue to do so.

Thank you Cancer Research Wales from a very appreciative and supportive family.